Confession and sign of life

As you can see, I have failed to build up any kind of regular schedule so far. Hell, I barely started this thing and it seem to have died, falling flat on it’s face immediately…
Since with every passing day, the stress of still not posting anything is growing bigger, distancing me further from actually posting anything, I thought I’d just come out of the shadows and write about that for a bit. That might ease the pressure and therefore result in getting back to it easier when I can.

So just to give you an insight of what stopped me from moving on and posting the next thing..

I wanted to give an overview about where I’m coming from and how I got to the point where I am, but in my mind, I’m far away from those pieces that I did half a year ago. My focus, my mind was just in a completely different place and for a long time in the Fall, watercolor was not even what made me tick. So analyzing and looking back on those was just too much to ask from myself. I was actually not even that focused on art, and when I made anything I was working on inktober sketches so that just shifted my attention completely.
The next backstory blog post’s outline is roughed out (I drafted it in October), but I am utterly unhappy with almost every piece of art that’s in it, so it was just extremely hard to write about that. Having to figure out how do I write and think about or how to present many paintings that I believe to be horrible is just a challenge I couldn’t tackle in the state of mind I was in.

On top of the fact that there was this emotional disconnect from the topic I was set out to write about, I ran into a few technical issues as well.
Apparently I don’t get notification emails about comments that land on the blog post, and for some reason I couldn’t apply a widget that would allow people to follow the blog, which was a bummer. So I thought that learning further about the platform I’m using would be a good solution. Seems logical, right?
But since I have no webdesign building knowledge and I’m generally not that interested in the topic, I never got around to starting digging deep into it – I rather went back to the books I borrowed and read about coaching and communication.
Yup, shame on me… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And then came the time when after travelling for about 8 months I got home…
Let me just say that I needed some breathing time and let’s leave it at that.

I’m slowly starting to feel like myself again – I’m trying to figure out what I want to do or aim for, how I want to put my life together and so on. Not like I believe I could really figure it out, but it’d be nice to be able to have some goals in mind.

Anyway, so I’ve been back to drawing and painting in the past few weeks and I’m full of ideas on what I want to do, we’ll see which ones stick…

I’ll think about how to approach and schedule the blogging thing and I’ll try to come back to it as soon as I can, but no promises on what comes next.

For those who are interested, I’ve started a second art Instagram profile (@feleri_illustration) with the intent of trying to keep things a bit more organized, to present things together that go well together. The current idea is that nature illustrations and kidlit art will be uploaded over there mainly, but I’m not making any promises to myself I just want to see where this all takes me. Everybody says that you just gotta keep trying things and find out what works for you, so here I am… trying.

Let’s see what happens…


2 thoughts on “Confession and sign of life

  1. Glenn Johnson

    I know the struggles of posting to my blog. When we are involved in creative pursuits, you with your artwork – I with my writing, posting to a blog seems almost counter-productive. Love your artwork, though.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *